put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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