Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
