Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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