oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
