I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
