I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize