You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
she peed on how many people?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
