This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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