i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
