your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
