i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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