I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize