Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I am naked and annoyed.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
