laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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