I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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