I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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