I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
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