I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Randomize
