Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
smell my finger.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
