He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
is it fun? or sober?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
