White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
PANTIES FOUND
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
