yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
