My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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