Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
