I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
