she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
he thought i was a dude.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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