what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
