hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
