your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
is it fun? or sober?
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