Can i not drive my cunt home
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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