Got a toothbrush?
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
