Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
