i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
