do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
