Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Drunk is a universal language darling
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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