i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
