Your mouth is God's brothel.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
