I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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