it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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