I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
