He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
my shit smells like andre
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
