Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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