She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
