All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
