I must be too annoying 4 u.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
