How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
