He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
