it was like his penis was on wheels.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
