We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Its about making memories worth repressing
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Randomize
