i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize