I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize
