she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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