So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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