She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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