PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
