I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
