the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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