Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
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