I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
