tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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