hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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