I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
