Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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