At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize