my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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