Swine flu. Run for my life!
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
