He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
