Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
