Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize